The Wall
by twolostsouls25
Summary: a 15 year old Kensi reacts to her father's death, running away and living on her own on the streets for a year unknowingly building up a wall around her emotions. Compilation of connected short stories based on Pink Floyd's The Wall
1. Chapter 1

Okay I've got something pretty cool planned over the next few months, and I've been writing a lot of material so I'm ready to actually start one of the stories I've been writing!

This is not a Densi Fic, though it's an outline for what I will use and allude to in other fics when talking about Kensi's past. When Hetty mentioned that after her father died she lived on the streets for a year and while I've had that little piece of information sitting at the back of my mind, one day I was listening to the wall while watching a new episode of NCIS: LA I think and the idea just hit me. So this is sort of a 'concept fic' if you will with each song being a chapter in the fic.

IMPORTANT THING #1: For all y'all Floyd fans, don't get all preachy on me because I put a 'Goodbye Blue Sky' chapter before the 'Another Brick/Happiest Days of our Lives/Mother' chapters because I'm using the movie as a template, not the actual order displayed in the album (Which is honestly not that different) That also means I'll be adding 'When the Tigers Broke Free' Which is a kind of essential part of the fic. (I may be cutting out the middle verse though because it doesn't really fit)

IMPORTANT THING #2: I'm debating on whether or not to include 'Happiest Days of our Lives' Just because it doesn't really fit—Kensi never mentioned having trouble in school or with any of her teachers. Though If you feel like you reeeally want it in the fic, just post a review and give me a good idea on how to include it Thanks!

IMPORTANT THING #3: Sometimes the lyrics won't exactly match up what's going on, but it is very important to the whole theme of it so maybe the words may not fit but the theme behind the song certainly does. I encourage you to listen to it because a lot of times (especially during the scenes with Kensi's dad) Have the really cool patriotic war background music like in Saving Private Ryan.

The first few chapters may jump a bit around the timeline but it'll even out eventually. Enjoy!

**Don't own NCIS:LA and I certainly am not Roger Waters soo… guess that means I didn't write The Wall either. Enjoy **

The Wall

Chapter 1: When The Tigers Broke Free (Prologue)

"_It was just before dawn one miserable morning in black forty four_

_When the forward commander asked that his men be withdrawn_

_And the general gave thanks as the other ranks_

_Held back the enemy tanks for a while_

_And the Anzio bridgehead was held for the price_

_Of a few hundred ordinary lives."_

There was a man. And he sat on a rock. And the rock was on a hill which was one of many that rolled on in the vast green land around him, and the sun just ahead of him shot its last rays over those rolling hills casting across the sky a blood red light which turned to a brilliant orange, then pink purple and a misty blue. It cast across the land a yellow mist, setting the grass and trees alight with golden flame. And in his hands was a book. Small and loosely bound. He scribbled tiny letters with his only pencil and he wrote about the sunset. And the man looked ahead wishing they could see it because even though they watched the same sun, the view was never the same without his girls. And that was what he wrote in the letter to his daughter.

He whistled the soft tune of the trumpets he often heard as a young child. It was a sad but prideful tune for the men who had fought and died in the war. Men who seemed much like him. Only he didn't feel noble like they were, because they were fighting for their country. He was told he was doing the same, but he knew he wasn't. And the man often wonders what his girls would think if they knew what the duties of his career truly held.

Night finally fell and the beauty was gone. He had no time to concentrate on the stars as they glittered above him like a thousand judging eyes. He set up his weapon and laid on the ground, still and silent, and as he gazed into the scope the world turned to green and white. There was a village far off in the hills. Too far to see in detail from the naked eye, but through a sniper scope, quite visible, and quite attainable. He had his rifle trained to a door and when it finally opened, his target was in sight and he pulled the trigger. A perfect hit.

And there was a woman behind him, and a child. And they knelt down in shock, fear, and sorrow to mourn the sudden and violent death of a loved one.

And he was disgusted with himself.


	2. In The Flesh?

**A/N: Hey y'all! Chapter two is finally up, I'm super excited about the season finale so I'm posting it now! sorry I'm so inconsistent with my writing/updates taking forever and whatnot. I just get really into a story and then I get tired of it and start a new one. So right now I have a bunch of other stories that I'll be posting soon. And rest assured they **_**are**_** densi fics **

**Also song lyrics are in italics. **

**None of the NCIS characters are mine**

**The Wall is not mine either. **

**Also Gilmore is not entirely mine either, I kind of used his name to pay tribute **** you'll also meet Roger Waters later. He will be an important character hehe. **

So here's chapter 2: In The Flesh?

_(So ya.. thought ya… might like to go to the show…..)_

"Are you serious?" Kensi huffed. Donald Blye put on his jacket and grabbed his keys.

"Sorry baby girl. Get your grades up and maybe I'll let you go next week."

"But Jackie and a bunch of other people are going tonight!" She pleaded.

"And I'll bet they're not failing math either, huh?" Kensi was too frustrated to notice the distracted look behind his usual humor. "I have to go Kens. Guard the house for me alright?" he winked. Kensi just rolled her eyes "I'll be back by 11:30"

"Yep" she sighed, defeatedly walking up the stairs towards her room.

"Love you baby girl" he said,

"Yeah okay" came her soft, disappointed reply.

And before he left he looked up the stairs with a sigh. Then he walked out the door.

Kensi paced around her bedroom. It was 8:15 and titanic started at 8:30. Maybe she could get home before he did. When it came to going out for beers with the guys from his platoon he was usually back later than he said anyways. She picked up her phone and called Jackie.

"You still coming, Kens?" she asked.

"Yeah" she said, "but my dad doesn't know im going out so can you drop me off right after the movie?"

"Aww!" she complained "Everyone's going to Logan's tonight and I heard he really wants you there!"

Kensi blushed. "I wish I could but I have to get home before my dad does" she sighed. "Tell him to call me tomorrow"

"Alright girlie, see you in ten!" Kensi got dressed in simple jeans and a tank top and was ready just as Jackie pulled in the driveway.

"Look at you badass!" she laughed as Kensi slipped into the passenger seat

"What can I say?" She chuckled "let's just go before I change my mind" she said, trying to hide the guilt edging at her conscience.

"Alright, alright" Jackie started the car

"We're going to be so late" Kensi pouted as Jackie drove down the road.

"Relax! Juli and Hanna are already there and they're saving us seats"

They got to the movies and everyone sat in their seats. Kensi's heart raced not only from anticipation of seeing the movie—and Leonardo Dicaprio—but also because she was doing it without her dad knowing.

_(To feel the warm thrill of confusion and)_

_"It's over, Pete, I really can't do this anymore. Come on, I have a kid!" _

"_We still have work to do. Are you really going to let everyone down? To just give up everything you've worked for?" _

"I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

"You've_ worked for" Donald corrected. "You know I've been trying to get out of the game for a while now. Especially after Julia left. If Kensi finds out what I've really been doing all these years—and trust me, she will—What the hell do you think I'm going to do? _

"_She's fifteen years old Donnie, don't you think she oughtta know the truth by now?"_

"_That's besides the point"_

"They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but... sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose... that fire's gonna burn out... "

"It's not up to you to save me, Jack."

"You're right... only you can do that."

"_You're right, Don. It is. I'm not asking you to do this. I'm telling you."_

"_I don't have time for this" Donald sighed. "I'm done,"_

"God almighty…"

_Peter lunges at Donald, catching him off guard, throwing him to the ground. They both fight a decent fight but Peter has the upper hand. He smashes his glass over Donald's head, and he's disoriented. This is his chance._

"I love you, Jack."

_He leans down on this man, this man who once worked for him. This man who was once his best sniper. This man who was once his good friend. And wrapped his strong hands around this man's neck_

"Don't you do that, don't say your good-byes. Not yet, do you understand me?"

"_Please" He grunted, gasping for breath. "Pete, stop!" _

"I'm so cold."

_But he couldn't stop. Not now. He'd gone too far. Donald was a liability, and Peter couldn't have liabilities._

"Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?"

"_Peter" he pleaded again, he could see the life draining from him. "I have a kid!" he pleaded_

"I can't feel my body."

"Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise."

"_Sorry Donnie" He growled_

"I promise."

_Donald struggled, but he grew weaker. Images of his beautiful girl entered his mind. Images that faded and reappeared, and then faded again…_

"Never let go."

"_Kensi" he choked, no longer feeling Peter's presence "I Love—"_

"I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."

_Peter sighed in relief as the light left Donald's eyes._

"I don't even have a picture of him. He exists now only in my memory."

_ And methodically, Peter stands up, and proceeds to clean the room. _

_(That space cadet glow…)_

As the movie finally ended, Kensi looked at her watch. 10:38. And she had never seen a better movie in all her life.

"Ready?" She looked at Jackie.

"Yep, let's go!" They both stood up to leave. Kensi said goodbye to her other friends and Jackie promised to meet up with them at Logan's party later.

"We should hurry" Kensi said, already walking at a brisk pace through the parking lot.

"What's your dad doing again?"

"He's out for beers with a couple of guys from his platoon." She said.

"Then what are you worried about?" asked Jackie. "When my dad goes out for beers with all his platoon buddies he never comes back on time" They got in the car. She laughs to herself "And my mom gets so pissed—" She starts to chuckle, but stops suddenly, looking with wide eyes at Kensi who is just looking out the window. "I'm sorry." She says. Kensi looks at her with a raised eyebrow

"Jackie, that happened forever ago. I'm over it." She laughed. "It's not like I'm going to erupt into tears everytime someone says 'mom'" She laughed. Jackie sighed

"Well you only told me, what, three weeks ago? It's still news to me." She sighed. "I can't believe she did that"

"Well she did." Kensi's tone was short. "But I really don't care anymore so stop feeling sorry for me" She said lightheartedly. "Cause I'm starting to regret telling you" she laughed.

"Okay, okay sorry!" she giggled "I will never bring it up ever again!"

"Right" Kensi agreed, then looked at her watch. 10:52. "We're cutting this way close." Said Kensi, as they pulled into her neighborhood. The last thing she wanted was for her dad to be pulling into the driveway just as she was. Thankfully the girls never had to endure that awkwardness. They pulled into the driveway and Kensi said goodbye to Jackie as she ran inside.

She couldn't believe she pulled it off. She quickly went upstairs and showered and got ready for bed before plopping on the couch downstairs to wait up for him. In a way she didn't even feel bad because she had an amazing time and she was sure her dad snuck out when he was a kid. She chuckled at the thought. 11:00 came and went and Kensi watched SNL alone for the first time since her dad was deployed.

Kensi woke with a start as a loud knock sounded from a few yards away. Early morning light beamed from the window in the den and she realized she'd fallen asleep on the couch. The knocking continued and she looked at the old clock on the wall. It was eight in the morning.

"I'm coming!" She called wondering who could be bothering her this early. And as she opened the door, a man stood there looking rather stone faced. Seeing this stranger, she suddenly became acutely aware of how bedraggled she looked from sleeping on the couch.

"Kensi Blye?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Special agent Gilmore, NCIS" he showed her his credentials. She suddenly remembered her dad hadn't come home last night, and something in her gut made her very uncomfortable. Agent Gilmore looked uncomfortable as well.

"I'm afraid your father was involved in a fatal car accident last night" Kensi didn't really know what to say. In the moments of deafening silence that followed she cast her gaze downward at the welcome mat that the man was standing on and furrowed her brow as she slowly nodded her head. A fleeting memory of her dad playing hop scotch on the driveway with her crossed her mind

_(Tell me, is something eluding you sunshine?)_

"Uhm" the smallest noise escaped her throat but she couldn't even begin to ask the questions that crossed her mind.

"We'd like to take you to our offices to sort a few things out if that's alright with you." Said agent Gilmore. Kensi nodded, her mind still elsewhere.

"Can I see him?" She spoke softly finally meeting his eyes but this time he was struck by them. Big brown mismatched, and wearing a look of confusion and denial, as though she was still processing what she'd heard. So how was he to tell her that there was nothing left of him for her to see?

"We'll talk about it once we get back to the office," He said gently. Kensi nodded and followed him to the car.

_(Is this not what you expected to see?)_

Kensi stepped into the morgue. It took a lot of talking and convincing but in the end, nobody could deny Kensi her right to see her father. Agent Gilmore stood behind her having warned her about her father's condition. And she finally saw him, or what was left of him. Just a charred piece of… _meat_. There was nothing about that thing on the steel slab that resembled her father. Gilmore was unable to read her face. Her eyes just looked at his body. They looked calm, controlled.

_(If you want to find out what's behind these cold eyes,)_

"And you're sure it's him?" She asked, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

"We matched his dental records" Just then a woman walked into the room.

"Tox-screen showed a blood alcohol level two times the legal limit." She said. "Child protection services is also here."

"That's not possible." Said Kensi, showing emotion for the first time today.

"Who are yo?" asked the lady.

"I'm his daughter." She said angrily "His brother died because of a drunk driver. He would never drink and get behind the wheel" Her voice was low and furious

"I'm sorry sweetie" She said gently. "But this is what the report shows." The woman had a sympathetic look on her face.

"Then its wrong" She growled, storming off.

"Kensi" Agent Gilmore found her in a storage closet, staring at the ground with crossed arms, fuming.

"This isn't right" She said furiously. "If you knew him like I did—"

"Well we don't" He rested his hand on her shoulder "but evidence is evidence and this is clear as day"

"Do the tox-screen again" She said.

"Kensi, sometimes people may not be exactly who we think they are." She just shook her head

"I want to go home" Her voice trembled. Gilmore sighed

"I'm afraid that can't happen. Do you have any other relatives you might be able to live with?"

"No" there was an edge of bitterness to her answer.

"We have some people here that can help you work things out" He said. Kensi almost laughed

"Child protective services? Yeah, okay" She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Just let me out of here so I can use the bathroom"

Gilmore nodded slowly. "Alright Kensi, We'll be right down the hall."

Kensi made her way to the bathroom and took a deep breath, splashing cool water onto her face before looking at herself in the mirror. She had to get out of there. She wasn't about to spend the rest of her childhood (if she could call it that) moving from home to home. She opened the door and glanced down the halls. Gilmore was talking to his partner and the people from child protective services. They seemed distracted. Kensi snuck down the hall in the opposite direction wary of security cameras up on the ceiling. And with surprising ease she made her way through the halls and out of the building, and once she was off the property, she ran. And she was so filled with fear anger sorrow and anguish she felt as though she had never fun faster in her life. _(You'll just have to…)_

And finally she came across a park and a dense cluster of trees. She ran straight into the wood and collapsed against a tree sucking in as much air as she could between each broken sob. He was gone. And she couldn't get him back. _(claw your way…)_ And she couldn't go home. And no one believed her. And he was gone. He was gone. Gone, gone, gone. She couldn't process the word. Somehow it meant nothing. _(through this disguise!)_But the very thought of him brought about the most intense nauseating feeling of pain and loss and grief. And it hurt. A sickening tight ache in the center of her gut. And she never cried harder in her life.

_LIGHTS!_

_ROLL THE SOUND EFFECTS!_

_ACTION!_


End file.
